Connecting on LinkedIn – the Right Way and the Wrong Way

Regular blog readers will know that I am very particular about requests to connect on LinkedIn.  I’ve had a strict policy of accepting requests only from people I know personally – e.g. People I had worked with, or collaborated with on a committee.

I wrote about this in Stop Polluting LinkedIn a couple of years ago, and commented against the practice of connecting with online acquaintances in various meetings industry chats on business development strategies.

Especially annoying were requests from salespeople who clearly wanted to push their products or services (do they even realize I’m not a meeting planner?). One thought I was “ripe for the picking” because we interacted on Twitter (one request read: “You mentioned my company on twitter (PartyPix_CA). I thought it would be good to connect on Linkedin as well. I hope you'll accept my invitation.” Eww…). 

Yet another tried to make me believe we’d met before: “Was it not you that I met at the Tete A Tete conference last week here in Ottawa? Maybe someone else from your organisation?” – as if THAT was going to make me accept his invitation!

But lately a few people have made compelling arguments that made me realize that I was limiting myself, perhaps even acting selfishly.  The first was my friend Mitchell Beer, who commented on my rant about LinkedIn requests from strangers (see What To Do When Mike Lipkin Asks You To Connect).  Mitchell explained that he responds to out-of-the-blue requests by inquiring about the person’s interest in reaching out.  While most people don’t reply, he says he’s had a few good conversations about business opportunities.

Then I read the story of Kelly Blazek, a Cincinnati businesswoman who clearly over-reacted when she was approached by an inexperienced job seeker.  I believe in helping people out and this quickly made me realize my curt responses were not helpful.  Maybe I could offer those unwitting connectors a bit of coaching on how to develop long-term relationships in the hospitality business.

In addition to using Mitchell’s advice, I now look at the person’s profile more carefully… Because in one instance, when I asked for clarification on we knew each other, the person pointed out we’d worked together at a hotel!  Ouch, that was awkward…

Then a few weeks ago I received this LinkedIn request from Ann Ng, a young woman I had met at the CanSPEP breakfast:

Hi Doreen. Thanks again for sharing some important information on Canada's new Anti-Spam Legislation and Privacy Act this morning. It also looks like we have a few connections in common. It'd be an honour to connect with you professionally. Hope you had an amazing Wednesday. Thanks, Anna.

Anna is Manager, Graphics & Content at Hilton Suites Toronto/Markham Conference Centre & Spa.  I think she deserves a prize for being so genuine and engaging with her LinkedIn request!  Anna, seasoned professionals could take lessons from you about how to connect in social media.  Thank you for restoring raising the bar!

What do you think is the best way to connect on LinkedIn?  Any horror stories?

What to Do When Mike Lipkin Asks You to Connect?

Have you noticed an increase of questionable requests to connect on LinkedIn? I'm not talking about the spam requests from people halfway around the world you've never even talked to. I'm talking about the ones from people with whom you are connected at a second or third level, whom you have heard of, but have never met or even spoken to.

Recently I received an invitation to connect from Mike Lipkin. I was flattered to receive that request; I hear he's a great public speaker, and he is the president of a very large market-research company. But we've never met, and I am not sure WHY he would want us to connect.

Maybe I'm old-school, but I'm very careful about the people I do or do not connect with on LinkedIn. I've written about this in the past; stop the pollution on LinkedIn.  

It occurred on me that perhaps someone else was managing his account, an outsourced social media person. How else could I explain why he didn't write a note with his invitation to connect, stating how clever he thought one of my articles had been, or how he had heard about my work through a mutual friend?

So I wrote Mr. Lipkin a message:

Dear Mike,

Thank you for your request to connect.  My LinkedIn policy is to accept requests only from people I know; colleagues I have worked with, done business with or interacted with through a group or association.  Can you please remind me how we know each other? Otherwise, please forgive me but I must decline. Perhaps we will have opportunity to meet in the future.

With Canada's Anti-Spam Legislation coming into effect July 1, 2014, your LinkedIn connections will become very precious conduits to get your message out to the prospects and clients who trust us enough to want to connect. So treat your requests and acceptances to connect with care. Otherwise we may push this very useful tool to become as overused as our email inbox.

P.S. I haven't received an answer to my inquiry.  So Mike, if you read this, please let me know your thoughts!

Could Your Employer Shut YOU Out of Your Social Media Accounts?

Recently a dear friend and colleague found herself "reorganized" out of her job.

Aside from the shock of finding out she was no longer gainfully employed, she felt lost without her trustee smartphone and laptop which until then had been provided by her employer. These devices housed all her contacts and passwords to social media sites, including her LinkedIn account.

It was difficult for her to rebuild her contact list so she could let her connections know what happened. In this era when LinkedIn is your Rolodex, your resume, and your daily dose of business news, losing access can be devastating, not to mention time-consuming if you have to rebuild another profile!

That maybe why some people of my connections use a personal email address for their LinkedIn account. That way, if anything happens, they are not prevented from accessing this very important business tool.

If you want to see notices in real time, you can still use your work email address to access; just make sure you keep a record of your passwords outside of your computer or portable device. It's probably a smart thing to do from a security point of you anyway.

Fortunately, my friend remembered her password and was able to get back into her LinkedIn account. She is now happily ensconced in a new venture involving things she had, up until now, put on the back burner.  And she vows never again to be shut out of her social media accounts.

What Kind of Social Media Golfer Are You?

Ladies' Twilight foursome:
Janet, Doreen, Joy & Claire at the
Glengarry Golf & Country Club

As I was cleaning my golf clubs over the weekend I began to think how golf and social media have a lot in common.  I know you must be thinking, but hear me out.

Just as in golf, social media has “pros” who have thousands of followers – and likely an army to help them manage their networks.  And then there’s the rest of us who get out there and muddle through.

For good golfers it makes a difference whether they use a 5 wood or a 3 iron for a shot.   For a duffer like me, playing with a driver, a 4 iron and a putter is usually enough to get me through a 9-hole round with my ladies’ twilight league on Thursdays.

I’m often in awe of social media experts who are not only on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook but also on Pinterest, Vine, AboutMe, Google+ and a host of others.  Compared to them, I feel like an amateur!

But is that really justified?  Recently at the Caesars Windsor’s Meeting Planner Symposium, I facilitated a social media session where all three of our expert panellists reiterated that social media doesn’t have to be a game where you must use all the tools available.  Rachel Stephan of event marketing firm les sens créatifs in Montréal urged attendees to first find out what networks their audience uses the most.

Why try to be on Pinterest if your business doesn’t lend itself to visuals (like mine)? Hearing this simple advice was liberating!

While I think I may be slightly better than a social media duffer, I’ve realized that Twitter and LinkedIn are my driver and 4 iron for my business social media activities.  Facebook I use as my putter, for my “short game” with my family, friends and immediate local community, not for business.

And then there's the issue of "practicing": as with golf, using your chosen social media tools regularly will help you gain confidence, engage followers and build your business.

So what kind of social media golfer are you?  Are you using all the clubs in your bag or just a few?

The World Didn’t End and Six Ways to Do Better

So the world didn’t end yesterday.  But apocalypse or not, it's important to remember each new day, month or year is an opportunity to do better.

Yup, that's me holding up the front page of the
Ottawa Sun's Dec. 21 issue.

Doing better is top of mind for me because not only was December 21, 2012 the day the world was supposed to end, it was also my 49th birthday. That’s right, the start of my fiftieth year!  And there’s something about milestones that makes me want to improve the way I live and do business.

I’ll spare you my personal intentions but as this year draws to an end, here are the six ways I resolve to do better professionally:

1. Be clear on who we do and don’t do business with:  last week I wrote about a few examples of when it's best to refuse business.  In a follow-up conversation with my sales coach, Colleen Francis, she urged me to go as step further and describe the types of clients we no longer wish to do business with.  While that may sound arrogant, the purpose is to make sure we waste nobody's time, ours or the prospect’s, so that we may in fact be better able to deliver excellent service to the types of clients we do want to do more business with.
2. Have more meaningful conversations:  the wider the audience, the more difficult it is to have significant dialogue.   Clarity about who you want to do business with allows you to reduce the number of prospects in your database that may otherwise dilute your time and effort.  For instance, it is easier to personalize your e-mail newsletter and have more in-depth content if your audience is highly defined.  (Read more advice on data management with our 7 Tips to Taming Your Database).
3. Improve the user experience:  Recently we had the pleasure of helping a long-time supplier with their website re-design and Search Engine Optimization.  We’d learned a lot in the last year about how to make a website generate more inbound marketing leads and it was great to put this knowledge to work for a valued partner.  This also made us realize we had to renovate our own site to improve on our own user experience.  Stay tuned for the changes.
4. Be more engaging with social media:  in a recent post, brand marketing agency CEO Bryan Kramer urged his readers to be more authentic in their marketing practices.  He had great advice.  While I had already started being choosier about my connections on LinkedIn (see Stop Polluting LinkedIn), now I also want to reduce the number of groups I follow so I can read posts more regularly and contribute more often.  (Next on my to-do will be Twitter, but that’s a whole other matter…!)   
5. Reach out more and in unexpected ways:  For the first time in many years I didn't send Christmas cards this year.   They were too many things on the go and I ran out of time.  I felt guilty for a while but then realized:  even if I was sending personalized cards, when everyone is doing the same thing, how does it matter to the recipient?  What if I could reach out at other times of the year, in a more meaningful way?  And with a smaller audience, it should be easier to communicate more regularly...
6. Try something new:  I may be turning 50 in 2013, but I never want that old dog who refuses to learn new tricks.  So I will be looking to my GenY and GenX staffers to help me implement new ways of bringing thought leadership and relevancy to our clients and community.  We're not sure what that may look like yet, whether it will be infographics, videos, or podcasts but I look forward to the journey!

Enjoy this holiday season and we look forward to the conversation in 2013!

Stop Polluting LinkedIN

It started as an occasional annoyance. Then it became a mild distraction. Lately, the volume of fake LinkedIn connections has grown into a flood that threatens to overwhelm one of my favourite business networking tools.

I’m sure you see them, too: the LinkedIn request from someone you’ve never heard of, or who works for the organization you left five years ago. It’s an individual invitation that took at least a moment of thought before the originator hit ‘send’. But it crosses an important line and reflects a misunderstanding of LinkedIn’s purpose…and its strength.

The antidote comes in three words (two of which have only been defined in the last decade): LinkedIn isn’t Twitter.

The difference matters. On Twitter, the more followers you have, the better off you are. The 140-character connections are small, their duration is fleeting, and the best use of the platform is to pull casual connections into a longer conversation.

But LinkedIn is one of the places where those conversations are supposed to take place. That’s why the platform itself puts so much emphasis on real-world connections—the system confirms whether you know each contact before you reach out, and makes it a bit more difficult (though, sadly, not impossible) to send contact requests to strangers.

Malcolm Gladwell’s definition of connectors may stretch the point a bit: In his first book, The Tipping Point, he talks about the power of “loose connections” and the amazing networks that surround those people we all know who seem to know everyone. LinkedIn is a place where those connections can thrive, but it defeats the purpose to try to turn a big, extended, virtual water cooler into an anonymous street corner.

That distinction is easily lost on inexperienced account managers who see any social platform as an opportunity to build their pipeline and nab some short-term sales. Bad habits are reinforced by Directors of Sales & Marketing who talk a good line about building business relationships, but still put all their emphasis on quarterly reporting. Sales reps assure prospects that they’re really interested in understanding their business needs and building a long-term conversation…until planners realize that that’s just their latest line to try and close a quick deal.

LinkedIn may have crossed its own line when it introduced its endorsements feature this fall. In his excellent It’s All Virtual blog, Dennis Shiao argued that endorsements make it too easy to send out a public recommendation for someone you don’t really know all that well. And by the time I saw his post, I had already come to a perverse conclusion: endorsements made me realize that it’s time to scale back my LinkedIn list to people who really are a part of my network.

Miss Manners might have a few choice words about the best way to “dump” someone from your network, but that misses the point. It isn’t (or shouldn’t be) a rejection—I just want my LinkedIn list to be an accurate reflection of my real-world networks. For casual conversations, I can still find those looser connections on Twitter (and I'm happy if we connect there; my handle is @dashtonwagner). But LinkedIn is a different kind of network…and that means if you ask me to connect and we really don't know each other, I will ignore you.

What are your thoughts on this issue?